My clients sometimes ask me how I do what I do, listening to people talk all day about their problems. Hearing about people’s traumas, heartaches, losses, disappointments. The key to doing the job is to not actually listen, just to smile and nod.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Of course, that is a joke. Here’s what it’s actually like. 

But first, a brief interlude about me. I majored in English and Psychology in college. I appreciated studying literature because stories fascinate me and they often help me understand myself better.

I share this detail because I am curious and fascinated by people’s stories, including those of the clients with whom I work. Everyone has a unique experience that is full of both delights and heartbreaks. It is an honor and privilege to be able to hear someone’s story. What tends to emerge from those narratives is that most people are tough, full of hope, and willing to open their hearts. I am reminded of the human capacity toward these characteristics, which really helps me when I feel despair or disappointment in my own life. 

In other words, the people who come to see a therapist are the people who hope that things can change. They believe that life can improve. So in spite of their personal challenges they don’t give up. It’s inspiring. 

We all get a taste of suffering. Suffering alone can make us feel separate from other people and eventually leave us wondering if we are to blame. The beauty of therapy is that you don’t have to suffer alone and you can find ways to cope. Effective coping gradually leads us out of the challenges that we face. I find purpose and comfort in playing that role in someone’s life.

Published September 20, 2025